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Lucien’s biggest secret.

The one he beat himself up with for eight years and counting.

When Ronan asked Milroy to investigate the matter from eight years ago, Milroy did find out that Gordon Clearwater committed suicide.

The assistant also found out that Gordon Clearwater made a wrong decision that led to Clearwater Finance’s bankruptcy.

But back then, Ronan thought that those were all part of his father’s scheme.

He had always seen his father as this great villain who ruined his family, his relationship, and his life.

It was so easy to hate, to blame Dane Silverback.

It turned out that at least regarding his relationship with Lucien, this assumption was inaccurate.

.....

Just like the elder man said back then, buying more than half of Clearwater Finance’s shares was only one of the many acquisitions that the Silverback Corporation did in the past.

Dane Silverback did not force Lucien at all. He merely made the young man who almost lost his father by a hair width and had to shoulder the massive financial burden by himself a more than generous offer.

Or better said, a huge favor.

It was more than what Lucien could hope for.

How could he say no?

Lucien closed his eyes and tears started to fall across his pale cheeks.

“I am sorry that I hurt you, but I will still do it when I am again faced with the choice.”

He had to do it.

He lost both Ronan and Landon. He suffered from the rejection backlash for years.

The pain was indescribable, but in the end, no matter how despicable it sounded, it was all worth it.

In the end, his father recovered. His family and pack were saved. His mother and sister were smiling again.

“I fully understand if you can’t forgive me.”

“Oh, Lulu.”

Lucien widened his eyes in surprise when Ronan pulled him into a hug.

“Ronan, no...”

Lucien tried to shove Ronan away, but the Alpha was too strong.

“You are not selfish. You did it for your family.”

Lucien started to sob.

“I picked my family over you. You should hate me.”

Ronan gritted his teeth.

To tell the truth, he was no better.

In order to find out the truth about his mother’s death and the orchestrated attack on Kinnon Youngshaper’s pup, Ronan did not pay any heed to his mate’s suffering.

He watched as Lucien got hurt again and again, as he faked one smile after another, and told him that he was doing fine.

What Ronan did was crueler than what Lucien did. And then, even after everything that happened, he was still unwilling to let him go.

Between the two of them, who was the selfish one?

Not Lucien.

“My sweet Lucien, my baby, listen to me,” Ronan said, cupping Lucien’s face with both hands.

“That baby isn’t mine.”

“... What?”

Ronan continued explaining in a low voice, “My mother was murdered by the same person who fanned the flames between my pack and Kinnon’s pack. I have a deal with Lillian Woodland. As long as I do not reveal that the baby is not mine, she will help me drag the culprit to the arms of justice.”

Lucien’s lips parted in surprise. He gaped at his mate in confusion.

“Why... Why didn’t you tell me sooner...?”

“I am sorry!” Ronan bowed his head in regret. “I didn’t want to put your life in danger. She only needed five months! I thought we would do just fine, I...”

“...”

Thinking back, before speaking to Lillian, Ronan was very confident that he was not the father of her baby.

Lucien should have known something was up.

If he were not blinded by emotion... If he used his brain to think... If he trusted Ronan a little more... Asked him a few more questions...

Suddenly, Lucien felt so tired. It was as if every bit of energy left his body.

“Baby, I am so sorry,” Ronan whispered. “I am the selfish one between the two of us. But please, I beg you, don’t hate me.”

Lucien sighed. He put his arms around Ronan and kissed the side of his neck.

“I don’t hate you,” he said. “I just wish I knew sooner.”

“Lulu...”

Ronan climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around his mate’s body. They pressed their lips together, devouring each other hungrily.

“It feels so stupid now,” Lucien whispered. “So many misunderstandings...”

“We should have told each other everything from the beginning,” Ronan ended his mate’s sentence.

The two men exchanged ironic smiles.

“I was so scared to hear the word ‘selfish’ coming out of your mouth,” Lucien said. “I can’t take it. I will die on spot.”

“Stupid. I could never.”

Lucien snuggled against Ronan’s chest.

“Do you think that your mother would blame me?”

“For picking your family over me? I don’t think so.”

“No, I mean...”

Lucien bit into his lower lip.

“If that baby were really yours... And I am unhappy about it, do you think your mother will call me selfish?”

Ronan chuckled.

“Lulu, my mom was very unhappy about the children that my father had before his marriage. I don’t think that she will judge you.”

“Mm...”

Ronan ran his hands up and down Lucien’s thin frame.

“What is in your mind?”

“There was this... elder lady in St. Clarence who I met while Anna was still in surgery. We talked, and... she said that I was selfish.”

“Oh, love...”

Ronan pressed a kiss on Lucien’s forehead.

“Why must you care about other people’s opinions?”

“It’s not just anyone,” Lucien argued. “She was so similar to your mother.”

The Alpha raised his eyebrow and gave his mate a quizzical look.

“Really? How similar?”

“Well, she has the same eyes.”

Lucien cupped Ronan’s face and brushed against Ronan’s cheeks with his thumbs.

“The same beautiful eyes as yours.”

“Hmm. I wonder who.”

Lucien cocked his head to the side.

“Can you not tell? I thought maybe someone from the Fangblade family?”

.....

Ronan shook his head.

“The Fangblade family already ceased to exist. Its descendants were spread all over the werewolf packs by marriage, though.”

“I see. Then maybe a distant relative.”

Lucien furrowed his brows. His eyelids kept fluttering shut.

“I am so sleepy.”

Ronan rubbed his mate’s arms.

“Go to sleep,” he said. “I will be here next to you.”

Lucien looked up at Ronan and smiled.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you,” Ronan said, gazing at his lover.

That was the last thing they said to each other before Lucien fell into a deep slumber.